


teenage dirtbag

by fuglychan



Series: i think i'll like it here [1]
Category: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Angst, Anxiety, Anxiety Disorder, Child Abuse, Clingy TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Cuddling & Snuggling, DARK THEMES - TRIGGER WARNING, Dark Past, Depression, Emotional Manipulation, Family, Family Feels, Family Fluff, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Found Family, Gen, Hurt TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Insomnia, Murder, Orphan TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Protective Wilbur Soot, Sick TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Sleepy Bois Inc Angst, Sleepy Bois Inc as Family, Suicidal Thoughts, Team as Family, Teen Angst, Touch-Starved, Violent Thoughts, theyre family your honor - Freeform, touch-starved tommyinnit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-23
Updated: 2021-02-23
Packaged: 2021-03-13 12:35:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 10,419
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29651412
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fuglychan/pseuds/fuglychan
Summary: It was temporary. Tommy had gotten in so much trouble with the past few houses, and this was the last straw. They were going to send him to the worst place (after all, only the worst of the worst would be able to put up with him).He knew it wasn't going to be forever. He knew he should never get attached.There was just something about those three, and he couldn't help but want to stay.
Relationships: TommyInnit & Phil Watson (Video Blogging RPF), TommyInnit & Technoblade, Tommyinnit & Toby Smith | Tubbo, Wilbur Soot & Technoblade & TommyInnit & Phil Watson, Wilbur Soot & TommyInnit, Wilbur Soot & TommyInnit & Phil Watson
Series: i think i'll like it here [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2178900
Comments: 66
Kudos: 997
Collections: Completed stories I've read





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> trigger warning: dark past! suicidal thoughts, mentions, etc !!! 
> 
> also this is an au! based on personas really!! 
> 
> ((also prob highly innaccurate portayal of irl shit but thats ok!! this is just for fun!!)

“Honestly, Tommy, I don’t know why you’re surprised.” The office was dark. His caseworker blew a harsh puff in his face, and he held in a cough. 

He didn’t want to look her in the eye. He stared at the ground and gritted his teeth. 

“If you keep acting up, nobody’s going to want you,” she said, putting her cigarette out. “I had to beg someone just to watch over you for a couple days.” 

“What?” At this, Tommy sat up quickly. “What do you mean?” 

She glared at him. “I can’t have you here,” she sputtered. “I have visitors tomorrow, and you’d make it look bad.” 

“Where are you sending me?” 

“Relax,” she said, waving her hand. “His name’s Phil. He owes me a favor. Just… don’t piss him off, alright?” 

… 

She had him dropped off within the next hour. Tommy hadn’t had anytime to prepare before being taken away from the orphanage - not that he really wanted to stay anyways. He just would rather run away than be forced into other people’s homes. 

Honestly, introductions were getting tiring. He doesn’t even try anymore. 

He knocked on the door lightly, silently hoping no one would open the door. 

To his dismay, the door swung open to reveal a messy brown haired young adult. “You must be Tommy!” 

“How old are you?” 

The man didn’t even hesitate. “I’m 24,” he said. “I’m Phil’s oldest, Wilbur.” He didn’t bother asking. He wasn’t going to remember any of their names anyways. “Come in, it’s freezing outside.” 

Their house wasn’t insanely neat. It was obvious somebody had tried to clean up before his arrival, but there was no missing the pile of clothes sitting in the living room. “You must be tired, huh?” He asked, reaching to grab his backpack, but Tommy stepped back defensively. “You don’t like people to touch your stuff, huh?” He mumbled to himself, as if he was trying to memorize it. 

Tommy followed him up the stairs. Wilbur didn’t move to touch him again, and he kept a distance between them. “You’re 24, and you live with your Dad?” 

Wilbur barked out a laugh. “I know, right?” 

Tommy furrowed his eyebrows together. 

“You’re, what, twelve?” 

“No!” Tommy barked, dropping his backpack on the floor. “I’m sixteen!” 

“You slouch so much that you look twelve,” he countered. 

“Fuck you!” Tommy cursed, raising his fist. 

Wilbur laughed, leaving for the doorway. “I’ll leave you to settle in!” he said before quickly leaving the room. 

Tommy stopped, dropping his shoulders. Was he really going to hit him? 

He took in a deep breath. He stepped cautiously to the door before looking both ways. He closed the door, making sure to leave it open just barely so as not to get yelled at. 

He didn’t bother unpacking. He unzipped his bag, took out his compass and held it close to his chest. 

He sat there, laying on his side. There wasn’t a clock in the room, but the sun had set by the time someone knocked on his door. He sat up quickly, shoving the compass into his pocket and reeled around. 

“Hi,” Wilbur greeted. “I’m about to start on dinner. You have any favorites?” 

Tommy blinked. “Whatever is fine,” he managed. 

“I didn’t ask for whatever,” Wilbur said, crossing his arms over his chest. “You’re not allergic to anything, but is there anything you don’t like?” 

Tommy hummed. “Vegetables, I guess.” 

His voice was barely audible. Wilbur laughed. “Classic teenager,” he said, spinning around. “Pizza then?” 

Cue twenty minutes later, and the house was smelling really bad. 

Like, really bad. 

And when the alarm went off, Tommy went beserk. 

He sprinted down the stairs where Wilbur was sitting at the kitchen table with his chin in his hand. “What the fuck?” Tommy screeched, sliding across the floor. 

Wilbur opened his eyes, yawning. “Huh?” he mumbled. “Oh, I burnt it again.” 

Tommy watched him with wide eyes as he stumbled over to the oven and pulled out the pizza. He bit his lip. “Maybe we should order out instead.” 

Tommy couldn’t get over it. “Did you… fall asleep while cooking?” 

“Yeah,” he sighed. “My new job has me  _ fucked  _ up.” Tommy wasn’t gonna ask, but he told him anyways. “I edit, and that shit keeps me up all night.” 

“You edit?” 

He didn’t really mean to take an interest in him - it just happened. “Yeah,” he said, sounding more enthusiastic this time. “I do! It’s pretty nice getting to work from home.” 

“Are you a bum?” he asked. 

Wilbur sighed. “No, but I think Phil would get lonely if I moved out.” Tommy almost smiled, but he was careful. “And I wouldn’t leave him alone with Techno if I could help it.” 

“Techno?” 

Wilbur shivered. “My younger brother,” he replied. “He’s nocturnal, so he won’t come out of his room until a couple hours.” 

“He almost slept through you burning the house down.” 

“He’s slept through worse.” 

What was worse than that? 

“Storms, power outages,” Wilbur started listing off, even though he hadn’t asked. “On time we had this kid stay with us, tried to murder me with a knife, and Techno hadn’t woken for that either.” 

Tommy stiffened. “So that’s what this is,” he drawled. “All the major fuck-ups get sent here.” He grinned. “So what’s wrong with you, then?” 

“I don’t think that’s fair,” Wilbur said, frowning. “I didn’t get  _ sent  _ here, and neither did Techno.” He threw the burnt pizza outside the window, hoping to get rid of the awful smell. “He did get in some fights, but it’s not what you’re thinking.” 

Tommy was silent. 

“Phil kinda… saved me in a way?” he said, suddenly giving him his life story. “Not a lot of people want to take in a kid on suicide watch that’s already almost an adult, but he did. He was nice.” He laughed suddenly. “But Techno totally was a troublemaker. He kicked so much ass, got in fights all the time, but that was a long time ago. He’s really got it under control now.” 

Tommy didn’t want to be here. 

“How do you know I won’t kill you in your sleep?” 

“Hold on,” Wilbur hushed, holding up a finger. “I’m ordering a pizza.” 

Tommy fumed, throwing his hands in the air. “Yeah, uh-huh. Oh, really, that’s a fucking deal, let’s get two then. Hmm-hmm. Thanks.” He put his phone down. “What were you saying?” 

“I could kill you, you know.” 

Wilbur burst out laughing, clutching his stomach. “Nah, you won’t though. I’m too endearing.” 

“No, you’re just annoying.” 

“I’ll grow on you.” 

“You really won’t,” he spat. “I’ll be gone in three days.” 

“What?” 

“Maybe less,” Tommy hummed. “My record is an hour.” Wilbur frowned. “Might be a bit hard to get kicked out if the big man isn’t ever home.” 

Something kin to realization dawned on Wilbur’s face. “You’ll get to meet him soon,” he promised. “He’s beating himself up right now, I know it.” Tommy raised an eyebrow. “He was so excited when Kara asked him if he could watch over a kid. He’s speedrunning some paperwork. Probably carrying the whole company.” 

“She said he owes her.” 

Wilbur thought for a moment. “I don’t know about that.” 

“He owed her a  _ big  _ favor, and now you’re stuck with a murderer in your house.” 

“A murderer?” Wilbur echoed. “I think you’re too young for that.” 

“It’s true!” Tommy barked, pointing a finger at him. “I could kill you.” 

Wilbur’s face dropped, and Tommy grinned. It was short-lived as he felt air against his neck. “Why the  _ fuck  _ are you guys so loud?” 

Tommy spun around, horrified at the man looming over him. He had long, pink hair pulled up into a messy ponytail. He had huge eyebags. 

“Sorry, Techno,” Wilbur hissed. “But be nice, we have Tommy here!” 

Techno wiped at his eye. “Tommy?” He dropped his fist. “Am I just supposed to know who that is, or did you make a new friend at the park?” 

Wilbur crossed his arms over his chest. “Phil told us last night we’d be having Tommy over! Kara sent him.” 

Techno visibly grimaced. “My condolences. She’s pretty shit.” Tommy watched him carefully. “At least you won’t be seeing her for a while.” He yawned. “I’m up way too early…” 

“It’s almost seven.” 

Techno turned around. “Exactly. Wake me up when it’s time for dinner.” 

The pizza got there pretty fast, and he didn’t waste time before opening it up. Tommy watched him cautiously as he bit into it. “Go on,” Wilbur said, flicking his fingers. “Eat some. I got us two larges, and Phil won’t be eating any.” Tommy didn’t trust it. “Seriously, it’s fine. You can eat.” 

Him saying that pissed him off for a reason he can’t explain. He snatched a slice of pizza out of the box and scarfed it down. “Holy shit you ate that so fast!” he howled. “Like in one go!” Tommy turned away. “Eat as much as you want, okay? Just don’t choke.” 

“Don’t tell me what to do.” 

“Okay, then? Choke or don’t choke?” Wilbur grinned. “You’re so weird, Tommy.” He hated this guy. He really, really hated him. “Can you go wake up Techno? Tell him pizza’s here.” 

Tommy didn’t really want to, but Wilbur was pissing him off, and he wanted to explore the house some more. It was an open-spaced house with lots of windows. Despite it being dark out, nobody covered it up. He’d have to be careful around that. 

The ceilings were really high, and there were doors on every room. Yet Techno sleeps with his wide open. 

He was snoring loudly, falling over the side of his bed. There were cans of soda littering his windowsill and even an empty bottle next to his head. 

“Pizza’s here.” 

He didn’t react. 

“Hello!” he called loudly. “Pizza’s here.” 

He just snored. 

What is up with everyone in this damn house and pissing him off? 

“Hey, dumbass!” He went to go flick him on the forehead, but he quickly caught his wrist and yanked him down on the bed. “What the fuck are you doing?” 

“Oh, sorry.” The grip around his wrist was surely gonna leave a bruise. “You scared me.” 

“What the fuck?” he hissed, tearing his wrist out of his hand. 

“Is there any pizza left, or did you guys eat it all?” Techno was out of his bed, walking like nothing even happened. Tommy grumbled something under his breath. “I wouldn’t past you if you ate a whole pizza yourself. Be careful, though, you’re gonna get super fucking sick.” 

“What?” Panic rose in his chest. 

“Eating  _ real  _ food after living off that shit? It’ll fuck you up, man.” 

Tommy had only been able to eat one slice before feeling sick. He’d never been able to stomach much at all, anyways. 

“Save us any?” Techno asked, opening up the pizza box where Wilbur had already torn into four slices. The two broke off into a friendly argument, and Wilbur started asking about some assignment. 

Tommy felt like an outsider. 

They were being nice -- too nice. He was already getting too comfortable here. He was already starting to kind of like them, and that made him hate them even more. 

“Phil must be pretty fucked up.” The two stopped their conversation abruptly, staring up at Tommy. “If he’s so eager to take in a bunch of fuck-ups, he must be pretty bad himself.” 

Wilbur frowned. “That’s not a nice thing to say, Tommy.” 

Anger built in his chest. “I’m not nice!” He stomped his foot. “You guys are so fucking stupid! Acting so nice and friendly, and you don’t even know who I am!” 

“What are we supposed to do, be mean?” Techno was exasperated. “Of course we’re going to be nice to a kid we just met.” 

“I fucking hate you.” Tommy grit his teeth. “I hate people like you. I’d rather go back.” He went up the stairs, quickly grabbing his backpack and heading down the stairs. “It was terrible meeting you guys.” 

“Wait!” Wilbur said, going to step in front of the door, but Techno grabbed his wrist, pulling him back. “Tommy, where are you--” 

He was already out the door and running into the street. A car swerved by him, honking madly, and he took off, running and running until he was tired. He took solace in an alleyway, hiding under a fire escape. 

It was really irrational for him to do. 

Then again, he should’ve made a break for it much earlier before wasting time with those stupid idiots. 

… 

Why was he like this?

Why did it have to be this way? 

He got stuck with such a shitty life, and everytime something remotely good is offered to him, he ruins it. 

He’s such a fucked up kid, of course his only chances of finding someone that actually likes him is someone who’s fucked up. The longest stays he’s had were with fucking scum of the earth child-abusers, and even they had gotten sick of Tommy. 

And when someone’s actually nice to him, he yells at them. Runs away. 

It’s really fucking stupid. 

He curled up into a ball, hugging his knees to his chest. He didn’t want to go back to Kara. He didn’t want to be on his own. 

He didn’t want any of it. 

“Holy fuck!” He looked up harshly to Wilbur, who was putting his hands on his knees. “You’re so,” he wheezed, “so fucking f-fast…” He inhaled deeply before falling to the ground. 

“Are you okay?” 

He wheezed simply, holding a hand up. This man was really dying. 

He heard someone calling out in the distance. “Tommy?” the voice called. “Wilbur?” He reeled around the corner. “For fuck’s sake, I didn’t know Wilbur was gonna go sprinting after you.” He slipped his inhaler out of his pocket and handed it to Wilbur, who waved his hand. “You okay?” 

“I’m fine,” Wilbur hissed. 

Techno rolled his eyes. “I was talking to Tommy.” 

“How did you find me?” 

“Don’t ask me,” Techno said, lifting Wilbur off the ground to his feet. “Wheezy’s the one who found you.” 

Wilbur did take a puff of his inhaler before sighing. “It’s so cold,” he whined, coughing slightly. “Let’s get back, okay?” 

Tommy bit his lip. He didn’t really want to, but Wilbur wheezing made him feel guilty. Techno wrapped an arm around Wilbur, and they started walking back to the house. 

The door was wide open, but there was now a car in the driveway. “Oh shit,” Techno said suddenly, and Tommy looked up in alarm. 

There was a blond man outside, standing on the porch. He was rambling wildly, and he couldn’t understand anything he was saying. He turned around, biting his fingers. 

But when he saw them, his shoulders dropped. “Oh, thank god, I found them. Sorry for calling, officer.” 

He called the police? 

“Are you alright?” the man asked, running up to them. 

“Wilbur took off running for him,” Techno explained. “Tommy’s a track star, apparently.” He really wasn’t that athletic. 

“I’m so sorry I wasn’t home.” 

Was he really apologizing? 

When he caused all of this? 

Tommy was silent. 

“It must’ve been really scary, huh?” Phil hummed. “Let’s get inside, yeah? It’s freezing out here.” 

He ushered the kids into the house, and Techno went to grab some waters out of the fridge. 

Phil was hovering over Wilbur, making sure he was alright. 

“I didn’t want you to feel trapped,” he said out of nowhere. “We’re not forcing you here.” Tommy didn’t really understand. “Wilbur… I didn’t know he was going to run out after you like that.” 

“Why did he do it?” 

“You’ll have to ask him.” 

The tension eased out of the atmosphere as Phil ran over. “I’m so sorry, Tommy,” he apologized again, looking rather pale. “I know being welcomed into the house by these two is really rough, and if you ever get mad, it’s okay. You can take a breather, yeah? Just don’t run out into the street at night.” 

This man was so fucking weird. 

“I’m so happy to meet you,” he said. Techno and Wilbur exchanged looks before leaving suddenly. His chest ached. “I’ve heard a lot about you.” 

“Oh, yeah?” Tommy grinned. “I got quite the record.” 

“I know,” he hummed. “You’ll get along so well with the boys.” 

…

What. 

“When Techno was your age, he was just the same,” he sighed dreamily. “He’d get so mad sometimes, and Wil would go chasing after him everytime.” He pushed a slice of pizza towards him. “I hope he didn’t scare you. He just gets worried.” 

“He just met me.” 

“So did I.” It was… kinda awkward. “What’s your favorite subject in school?” 

“I hate school.” 

“Surely, there’s something you like.” 

Tommy thought about it. “Not really.” 

“What do you like to do for fun?” 

“I do drugs. Hardcore crystal meth.” 

“Oh, yeah?” 

“Yup.” 

“You ever play Minecraft before?” 

Turns out, the family was super big on this game. They loved playing it together, which was super nerdy, and Tommy didn’t really get it. “How about you try?” Wilbur suggested. “It’s easy.” 

They sat in the Wilbur’s mess of a room. Phil was in his room, and Techno in his. They were all on a chat together, and Tommy could hear their voices booming from the headset. 

“Come on,” Wilbur said, motioning for Tommy to scoot up. He did, cautiously putting his hand on the mouse. 

The next three hours passed like it was nothing. Phil was the first to go, saying to make sure they didn’t stay up too late before logging off. 

“You a night owl, huh?” Wilbur asked, yawning. He wasn’t really, just found it hard to fall asleep. 

“I gotta get going too,” Techno said. “I have so much homework.” 

And that was it, they were gone. Tommy stayed on the computer, getting used to the game. Wilbur was in his bed, propped up on his pillow and watching Tommy play. “Alright, that’s enough.” Tommy let go of the mouse like it was on fire. “Hey, it’s okay,” he said quickly, and Tommy glared at him. “I just don’t want you to stay up too late. You got school tomorrow.” 

It didn’t really matter. 

Tommy didn’t end up sleeping a single hour. 

The lack of curtains in the house drove him mad. He was scared to walk in front of them, and even once he managed to get to his room, he couldn’t relax enough. 

The night went by incredibly slow, and it was driving him mad. 

“Tommy?” Someone knocked on his door. “You ready for school?” 

Tommy sat up, pretending like he just woke up. It was Wilbur. “I’m dropping you off in ten. Be ready.” 

Wilbur didn’t seem to be much of a morning person. As they were leaving, Techno was heading off to bed. Phil hadn’t even woken up yet. 

The car ride was silent aside from Wilbur humming along to the music. “I’ll pick you up here after school, okay?” 

Tommy nodded, mumbling a thanks before he grinned and sped off. 

He had such a rough night, but he couldn’t even care because at long last-- 

“Tommy!” 

And there he was, the only solace Tommy ever found in the fucked up universe. 

“Tubbo?” Tommy exclaimed, running to engulf his friend in a tight hug. “Tubbo!” 

People were staring, but he didn’t give a single shit. “It’s been so long,” he said, squeezing him tightly. “It’s so good to see you.” 

“I knew you’d be here,” Tommy said. 

“I can’t believe it,” Tubbo said, dumbfounded. “I never thought I’d see you.” 

Tommy frowned. “I… I don’t know how long I can stay.” He grabbed him tighter. “But I never wanna leave you again.” 

“Tommy…” 

“It’s me and you, against the world. It always has been.” 

Tubbo didn’t look as sure. “Tommy, I--” The bell rang. “You don’t want to be late on your first day. Where’s your first class? I’ll show you.” 

It was so good to see Tubbo again that he didn’t really care about anything else. 

When school got out that day, he found Tubbo again and latched on to him. “Tommy!” he yelped, spinning around. “You scared me.” 

“Sorry,” he apologized, not sounding sorry at all. 

“Toby,” a harsh voice cut in. They both stiffened. “We need to get going.” A woman, face covered with huge sunglasses, ordered. 

“Yes, Mother.” He turned to Tommy. “I’ve got to go, but I’ll see you tomorrow, okay, Tommy?”

“Wait--” 

“Tommy?” she hissed suddenly. “You don’t mean the same Tommy as--” Her face scrunched up in disgust. “No way in hell you’re hanging out with that boy.” 

“What? But--” 

“Get in the car, Toby.” 

Tommy shriveled back. 

And booked it. 

When he found Wilbur’s car, he climbed into it frantically. “So, how was school?” Tommy stared straight ahead.

“It was shit.” 

“I remember highschool,” he sighed. “The heartbreak. You look like you just got rejected.” Tommy stiffened. “Wait, are you serious? Did you ask out a girl on your first day?” 

“Oh, fuck off.” He turned to the window. 

“Did something happen?” 

Tommy bit his lip. “Not really.” 

“I don’t know if I should pretend to believe that.” 

Tommy glared at him. 

They arrived home soon enough, and Tommy went straight to the guest room. He was so fucking tired and pissed. 

He almost ruined things with Tubbo. 

When Tommy was young, the other kids didn’t really like him. He gave them good reason to. 

The kids didn’t really like Tubbo either. He was a kiss-up. He tried really hard, and he cried a lot. Tommy liked him a lot, and he beat up anyone who was mean to him. Or, at least, he tried to. 

Somewhere along the way they started calling themselves brothers. They shared a lot of their best memories with one another. 

But Tubbo was a good kid. 

He wasn’t like Tommy. 

“Fuck,” Tommy suddenly cursed, hand grabbing at his face. The room was spinning. “Fuck.” 

He couldn’t stand it in here. 

When Wilbur came to get him for dinner, he shooed him away. Yelled. Threw a shoe at him. 

A couple hours later Phil knocked on his door. He waited a moment before creaking the door open, bringing a plate of food with him. He set it on the table. 

“Wil said you had a rough first day.” 

“He doesn’t know shit.” 

Phil put his hand in his pocket. “Can I sit with you?” 

“Your house.” 

“Just because it’s my house doesn’t mean I can invade your space.” 

“Do what you want.” 

Phil sat down in the chair next to his bed. “Did you like any of your classes?” 

“Pretty shit.” 

“Tomorrow’s weekend, at least,” he said. “Must be weird having your first day on a friday.” Tommy was silent. “Well, after you eat, come join us in the living room. It’s movie night, and you get to pick.” 

Before he could decline, he was out the door. 

Tommy wasn’t gonna go. 

He wasn’t. 

… 

He ended up in the living room before he knew what was happening. He settled on the couch, burying himself as far as possible away from the others. 

Techno passed him the remote. 

“Don’t pick a horror,” Wilbur instructed. “Phil will be up all night.” He rolled his eyes. 

“What kind of shows do you like?” Phil asked. “Nothing rated R.” Tommy scowled at him. “Why don’t you look on DisneyPlus?” 

He pretended to be upset, but he simply tossed the remote to Wilbur. “If we can’t watch anything scary or rated R, I’m not interested.” 

Wilbur flipped through the titles. He put on a marvel movie. 

Tommy pretended to complain about the movie, but he wasn’t really mad. He liked a good superhero film. 

It was nice, also, watching it with people. 

Afterwards, Phil and Wilbur retired, but Tommy didn’t want to stop watching movies. 

“Marvel movie marathon?” 

He didn’t want to say yes. “I guess I will,” he sighed. “Nothing better to do.” 

He was fucking estatic. 

Techno prepared some popcorn, and before they knew it, they were three movies in. 

The living room got cold at night, and Tommy couldn’t help but keep glancing at the huge windows. Every so often the wind would brush by and he’d hear a tapping sound. He really hated it. 

The fifth time it happened, he flinched so strongly that Techno noticed. 

“You look really on edge.” 

“It’s the film.” 

“Bullshit.” 

Techno was looking around. He hummed before pulling a blanket out of the chest and tossing it to Tommy. “This should help.” 

Tommy accepted the blanket, but he didn’t say anything. 

He didn’t go to sleep that night either. 

Before Wilbur could get him for school, he was already gone. 

“Tommy!” Tubbo cried, latching onto him first thing in the morning. “I’m so sorry about yester--” 

“Don’t be,” he said quickly. “I didn’t mean to get you in trouble.” 

His face reddened. “It’s bullshit. She doesn’t know what she’s talking about.” 

“Better not piss her off,” he said. “I’m a bad influence. It’s not like she’s wrong.” 

“I don’t care,” he said, huffing. “I think you’re good.” 

That was his Tubbo. 

He was too good for him. 

“You look like shit.” 

Tommy couldn’t help but laugh. “Thank you?” 

“You haven’t been able to sleep yet?” 

Tommy sighed. “The house is just… it’s so big. I can’t relax.” 

“Try and get some sleep in your classes.” 

Tommy snorted. “Yeah, that’s a good idea.” He hadn’t meant it. 

But, yeah, he did doze off in the majority of his classes that day. 

When the schoolday ended, Tommy got careless. 

“I thought I told you not to hang out with that boy.” 

She was chewing him out. 

Because of Tommy. 

“Ma’am.” It was busy - by the car riders lane. 

“Mom, please, no--” 

“Principal Smith, this  _ scoundrel  _ is bullying my son.” 

“Mom!” 

“Keep that bully away from him.” 

She was out of her car, pitching a fit to the principal. 

Tommy couldn’t blame her. The teacher turned to him, went to rip him a new one, when a heavy breathing approached him. 

“What’s,” oh god, “the… problem?” 

Fucking Wilbur. 

He was hunched over, breathing deeply. 

“Are you the poor sod living with that son of a bitch?” 

No. 

For the love of God. 

Tubbo was yelling. Cars were honking. 

“You know he killed his mother, right? You know it was all his fault?” 

Everything was spinning. 

No, no. 

It was all wrong. 

He didn’t want him to know. 

He didn’t want it to go like this. 

“And now he’s harassing my Toby. When is somebody going to finally take control of this boy? He’s out of control.” 

Tommy couldn’t breathe. The world was going blurry, and his chest was tightening. 

He heard the slap before he saw it. 

The principal gasped, beginning to go into a lecture. “Fucking run!” Wilbur hissed, grabbing Tommy and breaking off for the car. He hopped in, backed out, and sped out of the parking lot. “Oh, shit, I think I might have to start dropping you off on the other side of the school.” 

Tommy couldn’t stop staring at Wilbur. 

“What?” he asked, taking his eyes off the road. “Do I have some biscuits on my face? I swear, I saved you some.” 

\---

“Why did I get a call today from Tommy’s principal?” 

His stomach had dropped. Phil brought it up so easily over the dinner table that it struck him still. 

“She was a major bitch,” Wilbur sighed, biting down on his porkchop. “Kept saying a bunch of shit.” 

“It’s not true,” Tommy said, shaking his head. “I would never hurt Tubbo. I wouldn’t. I wouldn’t hurt him, I swear to God!” 

“Hey,” Phil cut in gently. “I believe you, Tommy. It’s okay. It’s alright.” 

Tommy stiffened. Everyone was staring at him. 

He did, afterall, just start yelling out of nowhere. “I wasn’t bullying him.” 

“I believe you.” 

Tommy looked down at his plate. 

The air in here was suffocating him. 

“What she said was true, you know.” 

Wilbur looked up sharply. “Tommy, you don’t need to--” 

“My mother, it was all my fault.” 

“Tommy--” 

“I’m a killer. I’m bad.” 

And how heartbreaking it was to see a sixteen year old ridicule himself. 

“Wilbur, what is he talking about?” 

Wilbur pushed his chair back, striding over to Tommy’s seat. He gasped, preparing himself for the hit to come, for him to yell, for him to hurt him. 

The last thing he expected was Wilbur to wrap his arms around him. “You’re not bad.” 

“You don’t even know me.” 

“I don’t have a reason to believe you’re anything but good,” he said, taking his hand into his own. “I will believe it until I have a reason not to.” 

Tommy looked away. “Whatever.” 

It took everything in him not to scream. 

He was really exhausted, and the lack of sleep was fucking him over royally. He barely got through dinner, especially after his outburst. 

He went to his room straight, and he didn’t leave until hours later. 

It was incredibly boring, but the thirst became unbearable. He was so exhausted, and he thought some water would help. Still, he was scared to leave. 

  
  
  


He was just so, so tired. 

He finally managed to close his eyes, and he was almost there when a loud strike of lightning sounded. 

He yelped, clamping a hand over his mouth and climbed under his blanket. 

He can’t do this. He can’t do it. 

“I knew it.” 

He stopped. 

“Tommy?” 

He couldn’t breathe. 

“You haven’t been sleeping.” It wasn’t a question. Techno just knew. “It’s hard - the first few nights.” Tommy didn’t dare speak. “You don’t have to be scared. It’s fine, that you are. But, you don’t have to be. At least, not alone.” 

When the lightning struck again and the booming thunder filled his ears, primal fear took over. 

He jumped. 

He fell. 

And Techno caught him easily. 

He carefully pulled down the blanket to reveal Tommy’s shaking form. “It’s okay,” he said, heart breaking at the sight. 

“It’s so loud,” Tommy whimpered, hands over his ears. “M’ head hurts.” 

Techno put a hand against his head. “Lack of sleep’s made you ill,” he declared. “Come on.” He scooped him up suddenly, carrying him down the stairs to his room. 

“What’re you doin’?” Tommy was so tired, and Techno was so warm. 

“I can watch over you,” he promised. “I’ll stand guard.” He set Tommy down in his bed. 

And for the first time in a long while, Tommy slept.


	2. chapter ii - beach ova

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> btw when i was writing this i opened twitter and saw fanart of "beach day ova philza" by _halooh and uh i fell in love and it inspired me to write this
> 
> go give their art some love it

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> no warnings really but there's always a theme of underlying angst so if ur sensitive to dark topics u dont need to be reading this
> 
> also dont ask me why badboyhalo is in this he just appeared ((and just fyi!! i am not shipping him w skeppy, so don't interpret that scene in a weird way! he n skeppy r bros,, hes not comfy w it so i'd jus rather not ty ty))

Techno made sure to keep quiet. He plugged in his headphones to his laptop while he listened to his lectures, and he made sure to look up and check in on Tommy every so often. He was knocked out cold - exhausted to the point he just passed out. An hour or so in, he started to twist and turn. 

“It’s okay,” Techno mumbled, leaning over cautiously. “It’s okay.” He didn’t touch him. Tommy didn’t respond. His chest hitched, and he mumbled something in his sleep. He leaned in closer. “Plea’,” he mumbled, a tear falling down his face. “Don’t go.” 

His chest tightened, and he couldn’t help but ruffle the messy hair. “I’m here. I got you.” 

He woke up a couple hours later with a sudden shout. He was panting. “You’re in my room,” Techno said quickly. “You’re safe.” 

Tommy bit his lip, trying to remember what happened and how he ended up here. “You really…” Tommy frowned. “You really stayed up to protect me?” 

“Of course,” he said. “I’m usually up, anyways. If you ever have any trouble sleeping, just come in and ask.” A rosy pink blush dusted his cheeks, and he turned away. “You know, I had a lot of trouble too. Adjusting to the warmth here. I was on the streets for a while before… before they found me. I used to sneak into Phil’s bed.” He grinned. “He’d let you too. He’s a sleep cuddler, though, fair warning.” 

“Like hell!” Tommy said, face darkening. “I’m not a kid.” 

“You can be.” 

Tommy didn’t want to be here. The conversation quickly became too much for him. 

Thankfully, Wilbur came sprinting down the hallway. “I can’t find Tommy!” His voice was booming. “Phil! Phil, I can’t find him!” 

Before they could call out, Tommy jumped up to cover his mouth. “Shh,” he hissed. 

Techno understood. He stepped out of his room. “I saw him, Wil, he’s fine.” Wilbur deflated, leaning against the door. Tommy hid himself under the blanket. “He just went for a walk.” 

“Thank god,” he sighed, hand over his heart. “I’m not sure I could find him this time. It’s so humid outside I can’t breathe.” 

“Want me to drive him today?” Techno offered. Wilbur nodded. 

“That’d be great. Thank you.” He yawned suddenly. “But I’m sure you’re tired, Techno.” 

“I can just walk,” Tommy said, appearing out of nowhere. He tried to sneak past behind them to make it look like he came from outside. “It’s fine.” 

“No, Tommy,” Wilbur said quickly. “I’ll take you.” 

“Wil, just let me do it,” Techno said, pushing him lightly. Wilbur toppled over slightly, and he caught him. “You can barely stand.” 

Phil appeared, bag slung over his shoulder. “Wow,” he said. “You all look like shit.” 

And Tommy didn’t know, he really couldn’t explain it even if he knew, but for some unknown reason, he started laughing. Like, really laughing. 

He bent over, clutching at his stomach. “You guys are so weird,” he cried, wiping at his eyes. 

They weren’t fighting on who  _ had  _ to take him. It was who  _ got  _ to take him. 

And that made him the happiest in the world. 

“What’s going on with you boys today?” 

“No, no,” he said. “I’m sorry. That was just really funny. I’ll walk.” 

“Walk where?” Phil asked. 

Wilbur made a face. “The age is getting to you, Phil--” 

“I’m 32--” 

“School, obviously.” 

It was Phil’s turn to burst out laughing. “It’s the weekend,” he said simply. 

Oh. 

_ Oh.  _

Tommy sheepishly rubbed the back of his neck. “Forgot ‘bout that one.” 

“I think we should take a trip today,” Phil said, musing to himself. “Let’s go to the beach.” He started off for the kitchen. “I’m gonna go out and buy some groceries. Be ready by the time I’m back!” 

And he was gone. Tommy tilted his head in confusion as Techno sighed. “There’s no sense in arguing. Go get your stuff together.” 

Something dark spread across Wilbur’s face. “Tommy, you should go.” 

“I don’t want to.” 

“Phil will be heartbroken if you don’t go.” 

“I don’t really care.” He retired to that guest room and threw himself under the covers. 

Phil burst into his room not even ten minutes later. “I figured you didn’t have a swimsuit, so I bought some trunks. Look how cute these are!” He held up a couple in his hand. “I wasn’t sure which design you liked best, so I bought a couple just in case.” 

How was he supposed to say no to that? 

Wilbur was preparing himself to give a speech on all the reasons why Tommy should go, but when the boy stumbled out of his room in a hoodie and a pair of Minecraft swim trunks, he dropped his jaw. 

“He got him,” Techno whispered, nudging Wilbur with his elbow. 

“Phil’s got him wrapped around his finger.” 

“What the hell you two whispering about?” Tommy challenged, raising his fist but he lowered it when Phil appeared. 

“The day is young, boys! Let’s get on with it!” 

He was far too cheery. 

Apparently, Phil really liked going to the beach. And on vacations in general. 

“Stop showing photos while you’re driving!” Wilbur chastised, grabbing the phone out of Phil’s hand. 

He pouted but looked back to the road anyways. “Show him the pictures, at least.” 

As promised, Wilbur turned around and passed Tommy his phone. He flipped through the photos. 

“Is that… you?” 

“Yup!” 

He almost didn’t recognize him. Wilbur was short, a lot shorter than he was now. His hair was buzzed unevenly. Even in the picture, you could make out the bruises covering his torso. He looked murderous. 

“Isn’t he so cute?” Phil sang. “It was our first vacation.” 

“Stop,” Wilbur said, flushing a little. “You’re such a dotting father.” 

Phil ignored him. “Keep scrolling.” 

He went through a couple more hundred photos before arriving at another kid, this one presumably Techno. His pink hair gave it away. 

His eyes were unrecognizable. He hated looking at it, this child who looked so completely lost. They were dark, and he stared at the camera. 

Wilbur showed up again in the picture, but he looked nothing like he used to. His hair was long and shaggy, and he was more tan than he used to be.

Techno wasn’t smiling in most of the pictures, but he was in one. It was just barely detectable, but it was there. He was smiling as Wilbur lifted a giant pumpkin over his head. 

He couldn’t help but smile at the picture. 

“We should do that again,” Phil said. “Once the season comes around.” 

Techno leaned forward. “We’re a little too old for that.” 

Phil gasped. “For pumpkin carving?” He swerved the car, and Tommy gripped on the door. “You’re going to make poor Phil carve his pumpkin alone?” 

“Yes,” Techno said, rolling his eyes as he let out a wail. 

“You’re gonna make him cry,” Wilbur said, laughing. “Phil, don’t worry, Tommy and I will. Won’t we?” 

Tommy was gonna say no, of course he wasn’t. 

But he really wasn’t going to be able to. 

He’d be gone before then.

And that was right, it was only temporary. 

He was already getting too attached to them. He had to keep himself distant. He couldn’t get close. 

It was just gonna hurt that much more when he had to go. 

“Hey,” Techno whispered. “You don’t actually have to pumpkin carve. He was just teasing you.” 

He clearly misread why Tommy spaced out, but he shook his head. “It’s fine.” 

They arrived at the beach in record time. Techno insisted on carrying most of the bags, and Phil was stuck with the umbrella. 

Wilbur was struggling to carry the cooler. He wheezed slightly, and Tommy sighed, snatching it out of his hands. “I got it,” he snarled, lifting it before stumbling. It was actually really fucking heavy. “What the hell is in here?” 

“I packed snacks.” That’s the only answer Phil gave him. 

“Here,” Wilbur said, putting one hand on the cooler. “Let’s carry it together.” 

“I can carry it. Don’t want you to have an asthma attack.”

Wilbur smiled, watching Tommy struggle with the cooler and put his hand under the handle. He didn’t say anything else as they carried it to the beach. 

Phil set up the umbrella and set down the towels over the beach chairs. Techno fell back, slipping off his shirt before relaxing against the chair. 

“Sunscreen,” Phil said, tossing it to him, who caught it with an open hand. They passed it around, and once he through it to Tommy, he stopped. 

“SPF 100?” 

“I burn really easy,” Wilbur shrugged. “Are you gonna take off your hoodie? It’s scorching out.”

Tommy hesitated. “I have a swim shirt in here, too,” Phil said, handing it to him quickly. 

Tommy accepted it, biting his lip. “Thank you.” It took all of his strength to say it. He slipped off his hoodie quickly, and the others looked away from him. The long sleeved rashguard covered his scars completely. 

He was really thoughtful - he had to admit. 

Tommy finished putting on the sunscreen on the exposed parts of him. “Tommy,” Phil called, and as soon as he twisted his head, he was rubbing a stick on his face. 

“What the fuck?” he reeled, leaning back. 

Phil blinked. “It’s a sunstick.” 

“That’s glue.” 

“No,” he said, showing him the label. “It’s so your face doesn’t get burned. Come here.” He let Phil finish gliding it across his face. “There. Good job.” 

He congratulated him over the simplest things, and he melted everytime he did it. “It’s-- Whatever.” 

Techno was soaking up the sun, sighing contently. Phil got a book out of his bag and layed down in the chair next to him. 

Wilbur kicked off his flip flops, and Tommy followed him. “You both look after each other. Watch for jellyfish.” 

“Yes, yes.” Wilbur stepped into the water first. “It’s so cold.” 

It’d been such a long time since he’d been to the beach. He knew how to swim. 

Kinda. 

“It’s not that cold.” He was trying to lure him in. “Look! Shells. Sometimes we can find shark teeth.” He bent down to look, and as soon as he did, a huge wave crashed against them, and Wilbur got knocked over. 

“Wilbur!” he said, quickly getting in the water to help him up. Wilbur accepted the help, coughing as he tried to stand. “You alright?” 

“I’m--” Another wave crashed over them, and this time, Tommy went with him. He hit the ground hard, scratching against the coarse sand before latching on to Wilbur to help him. He reached out for him, and a hand grabbed him by the waist, and he was being lifted up into the air. 

Phil was dragging Wilbur out of the water as the boy coughed. That means… 

Techno was lifting him up in the air like it was easy. “Do neither of you know how to swim?” 

“Fucking ocean!” Tommy roared, raising his fist. “I’ll fuck you up!” 

Nearby, a child gasped, putting a hand over his mouth. “Language,” he hissed. “You shouldn’t talk like that!” 

Techno set Tommy down on the sand. “It’s a kid, Tommy, don’t--” 

“What the hell do you mean, ‘Language’? You look like you’re older than me, you motherfuck--” 

“Little Bad!” Phil leaned over, making himself look shorter. “How’ve you been, mate?” 

“Mr. Philza!” He greeted, smiling warmly. “Who’s the pottymouth?” 

“Did you just call him  _ Bad _ ?” 

Wilbur came over, coughing slightly. “It’s been a while, Bad,” Wilbur greeted. “I didn’t expect to see you at the beach.” 

He gestured behind him. “I’m out looking for Rat. Skeppy and I were out on a walk, and she got loose.” 

“I’ll keep an eye out for her,” he promised. “It was good seeing you.” 

“Bye now!” Bad said, waving before running off. 

Tommy narrowed his eyebrows. “He’s a proper adult, telling  _ me  _ to watch my language.” 

“Bad’s always been like that,” Phil said. “He’s only a year older than Wil.” 

“And his name is  _ Bad? _ ” 

“His legal name is Bad Boy, if that helps.” 

It really didn’t. 

“He was in the system for a really long time,” Wilbur said. “He doesn’t go by his birth name anymore. Just Bad.” 

Tommy was gonna make fun of him, but who’s he to judge? He’ll end up the same. 

“Nobody ever adopted him.” 

Existential dread washed over him, but before it could drown him, another splash of water was hitting him. 

And he was being lifted up in the air. Tommy latched on to Phil, who was nothing but smiles. He never wanted him to let go. 

Even if he was never adopted, even if he never truly found a home. 

Even if he never found anyone who actually wanted him, he’d treasure this memory. 

“You don’t swim very well, do you?” Techno asked as Phil set him down on the sand. He walked up the sand to grab two floaties. 

“I swim just fine,” Tommy grumbled. “I don’t need a damn floatie.” 

Wilbur grabbed ahold of the tube and jumped on top of it. “Whee!” he said, spinning around. Was he really the oldest? “Tommy! Come here!” 

Tommy looked behind him at Phil, who gave him a thumbs up. Filled with confidence, he started walking into the water and waded up to Wilbur. He grabbed ahold of the floatie and treaded the water beneath him. 

“Wave!” Wilbur announced, but it didn’t knock them over this time. They rose with the water before floating back down. Techno was trying to drag Phil into the water. “Phil, come on!” 

“I’m not too much of a swimmer,” he said, and Tommy pulled Wilbur closer to them. 

“It was your idea to go to the beach,” Tommy retorted. “And you don’t even swim?” 

“You look like you’re having fun.” 

It’s not like Phil was the first one in the world to be nice to him. Obviously, going through foster homes, you meet a wide variety of people. Some of them are nice, but not… not like this. They hit a point where it’s obvious it’s just for show or for personal gain. He’s sure there’s good ones out there - there has to be. 

Phil makes him believe it. 

Not that he deserves someone like Phil. He’s never been chosen by the  _ nice  _ parents. Good kids like Tubbo get chosen but not him. Tommy gets the ones who want a challenge, only to give up on him. He doesn’t care, really. 

He just hates to think of how Phil is going to look when he sends him away. 

“I think I’m gonna look for some teeth.” Wilbur leaned over, pushing his face against the water.

Techno and Phil climbed out of the water, sitting on the sand and keeping a close eye on them. 

Tommy helped him look - mostly because everytime Wilbur put his face in the water, he would start coughing. 

He swam up to the top of the water, holding a bunch of shells in his hand. “Look, Wilbur,” he cooed, swimming up to show him what he found. “It’s a--oh my god, it’s fucking moving!” 

He threw it, watching the shell hit the water with a tiny splash. “You found a crab!” 

Tommy’s stomach dropped. 

Wilbur put his face in the water and sifted through the sand. Tommy decided to try again, steering clear for anything remotely crab-like. “Whoa, a sanddollar,” Wilbur cooed. “That’s super cool. Wait, don’t throw it back.” Tommy pursed his lips. “Go give it to Phil.” 

Tommy didn’t really question it. He climbed out of the water and trotted up to Phil, offering him the sand dollar. “How cool!” he chirped, accepting it in his hand. “I’ll hold on to it for you.” When Tommy made a confused face, he continued, “It’ll be safe in my bucket. Don’t worry, I won’t mix yours up with Wil’s.” 

He hadn’t expected that. He nodded, not really processing that before returning to the water. 

By the end of the day, they were exhausted. Sun-soaked kids piled into Phil’s car, and they stopped to get ice cream on the way home. 

Techno was asleep the whole way. Even Wilbur had his eyes shut in the passenger seat. 

“Phil?” 

Phil turned down the music. “You okay, Tommy?” 

“Yeah,” he said. “Yeah.” 

He closed his eyes. 

\--

The house was quiet. Techno crashed on the couch, and Wilbur went to shower. Tommy was alone in the dining room. He fished through the bucket. 

“Here.” Phil set a mason jar down on the table. “You can put them in there.” 

Tommy went through his shells, carefully placing them in the jar. When he screwed on the lid, he noticed his name was messily written on there. 

_ Tommy’s. 3-22-21.  _

That night, he set the jar on his bedside table. It was the last thing he saw before he closed his eyes. 

Sleeping had started to get easier, but it was still difficult for him to sleep more than an hour at a time. Especially when the nightmares came. 

He didn’t always have nightmares. Most of the time he didn’t even dream. Still, he couldn’t relax enough to let himself fall asleep. The world was on his side, tonight, and there wasn’t any rain. No thunder. 

Just a quiet little house, and it was almost enough. 

Tommy padded down the stairs. Techno was still asleep, snoring soundly. Wilbur was at his desk. 

Phil’s door was creaked open. He knocked lightly before slowly opening the door. 

Phil was propped up on his doorframe with his tablet in his hand. He’d never been inside his room before. At his entrance, he sat up quickly. “Everything alright, Tommy?” 

He shifted from one foot to another. Was he really doing this? 

“Thank you,” he spat out, shaking slightly when he said it. “For… For today. And… letting me stay here.” 

Phil smiled. “Is that all you wanted to say?” 

Tommy fumed. He was teasing him. 

“And,” he said, fidgeting. “Do you… do you want to play a game with me?” 

“Of course.” He scooched over and patted the bed. Tommy climbed in next to him, watching closely as Phil loaded up a game for them to play. 

Fear bubbled in his throat while Phil taught him to play a new game. He wasn’t listening to his every word. He was too focused on how much he wanted to cuddle next to him. 

He didn’t deserve it. He didn’t deserve his kindness. 

He wanted to be selfish. Even though he was terrified, he took in a deep breath and grabbed ahold of Phil’s sleeve with an iron grip. He waited for him to be scolded, but it never came. An arm wrapped around him, tugging him closer, and Tommy melted into the warmth. 

Just for a little while longer. He wanted to be selfish. 

Even when he finally got sick of him, he wouldn’t care. 

He wanted to enjoy it while it lasted. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank u guys so much for ur support!! ur all really sweet and im in love w this fandom (i don't think i've ever liked a fandom so much and i've been in a fuckton) i hope all is well!


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> final installment of this work! (im already working on a sequal tbh)

On Monday, he got there extra early. He wanted to find Tubbo. He hadn’t seen him since Friday when his brother punched his mom. He had to avoid him, especially in front of her. 

When he spotted him sitting in the cafeteria, he ran up to him. “I’m so sorry, Tubbo.” 

He turned away from his friends, offering a seat to Tommy. “It’s okay!” he said quickly. “She deserved it honestly.” He gestured to his friends. “Why don’t you sit down? I’ll introduce you.” Across from him was a really pretty girl. “This is Nikki and Nick.” 

“Hi!” she introduced. “Toby’s talked a lot about you.” 

He liked his friends a lot. 

They wanted to meet up again after school got out, but Tommy made it clear he didn’t want his mother to see him. “I don’t like how she talks about you,” he said. “I want her to like you, so you can come over.” 

He laughed. “That’s not gonna happen, Tubbo,” he said, scratching the back of his neck. “She really hates me.” 

“Who the fuck is this shrimp?” 

Tommy looked up suddenly as Tubbo’s face paled. His jaw clenched, and Tommy stepped in front of him. 

A boy in a green hoodie crossed his arms over his chest. “Aw, Toby, does Mommy know you’re hanging out with filth?” 

“Stop it,” he said, voice sputtering. 

Tommy hadn’t met him before, but he instantly decided he didn’t like him. “What’s your problem?” 

“My problem,” he reiterated, “is motherfuckers like you. You think you own the place. You’re invincible. It’s my  _ duty  _ to keep filth like you in place.” 

“Who the hell is this bitch?”

“You really don’t remember me?” The man grinned. “It’s been a long time, I guess. You were only a child back then.” 

No. 

He went still. 

“Dream, what are you even doing around here?” Tubbo cut in. He cleared his throat, but the words came out scratchy anyways. 

Dream. 

It couldn’t be. It was so long ago. 

Nick appeared. “Dream, let’s go.” He quickly stood between them. 

“You stay the hell away from my little brother,” Dream said, snaking an arm around Nick. “That goes for Tubbo, too. You don’t want to get him in trouble, do you?” 

“Dream, what’s your problem with Tommy?” Nick, who he had only just met, was already turning against him. 

“Oh, haven’t you heard?” 

No. 

_ No.  _

“Tommy’s a murderer.” 

Shut up. Shut up. 

Nick’s eyes widened dramatically. “He’s not safe,” Dream said simply. “Better to stay away from him. Let’s get going.” 

Tommy looked down at the floor. It was happening again. Just like when they were younger. 

_ Tommy had only been twelve years old when he was moved into Kara’s home. Rumors of his arrival had been spread around, and when he got there, the kids wouldn’t go near him.  _

_ They were scared of him.  _

_ One, the oldest boy there, he would come by. He’d visit Tommy at night and remind him of all the reasons he hated himself.  _

_ He’d beat him, but as long as he never put a finger on Tubbo, he didn’t care.  _

“You can’t keep doing this!” Tubbo clenched his fist. “It’s not right, Dream.” 

Tommy looked up sharply. “Tubbo, don’t--” 

“Good boy Toby suddenly has a backbone?” Dream mocked. “I never thought I’d see the day.” He stepped closer to Tubbo, and he gulped. 

This was happening too fast. 

“Dream, what’re you--” 

As soon as the hit came, Tommy charged forward to stand in front of Tubbo. It was too late. He whined instantly, falling to his knees and cradling his stomach. “Tubbo!” 

At that moment, a teacher came outside the building and yelled out at them. “Hey! What do you think you’re doing?” 

Dream cooed, holding Sapnap. “Tommy just… he hit Tubbo. Out of nowhere.” 

The teacher turned to Tommy. “I was wondering when you were going to start having problems. Your caseworker told us you had a lot of trouble at your last school.” 

He would never hurt Tubbo. 

“He didn’t hurt me!” he cried, standing up. “It’s not true!” 

“God, what did you do to that boy?” the teacher said. “Dream, you better get your brother home. Thank you for catching this.” 

“Of course.” Before he could leave, he flashed a smirk to Tommy. 

He didn’t want it to be over. 

He was gonna be good. He was going to try so hard to be good. 

He kept thinking about Phil. He didn’t want to, but the intrusive thoughts gave him no choice. He couldn’t bear it. 

He’d rather never see him again. 

He took off running, abandoning the school. He didn’t know where he was going, but he couldn’t be there. He couldn’t face Phil, not after that. 

He wanted to stay. He wanted, more than anything, to keep living in that house for just a short while longer. 

It was way more than he ever deserved. He was selfish, he knew that. He wanted it anyways. 

Now… he wasn’t going to see any of them ever again. 

Tommy stumbled. His legs could no longer carry him. 

Sick to his stomach, he held himself tightly as he emptied out all the food he’d eaten that day. He clutched himself, falling to his side. 

He was used to ruining things. 

It didn’t stop it from hurting. 

\--

Tubbo’s mother had been furious. She was screaming at the teachers, who in turn, was trying to calm her down. It was no use. She wanted that boy arrested. 

Tubbo got sick of it. He slipped out of the room when no one was looking, and he stepped outside to take a breather. 

“Tommy!” a messy brown-haired boy was sprinting up to every person he could find. “Have you seen a small, blonde boy? Terrible posture?” 

Tubbo ran over to him, grabbing onto his sleeve. “You’re looking for Tommy?” 

The man gulped, anxiously running his fingers through his hair. “Have you seen him?” 

Tubbo bit his lip. “Please don’t be mad at him.” 

Wilbur stooped down to his level. “What do you mean? Why would I be mad?”

He looked to the floor. “He would never hurt me. They’re just…” 

Wilbur smiled. “You’re Tubbo, aren’t you?” 

Tubbo wiped at his tears. “You know me?” 

“Tommy talked about you before,” he said simply. “He said the same thing. ‘I’d never hurt Tubbo.’” 

He clenched his fist. “The world is against Tommy,” he said, sniffling. “I don’t know why everyone hates him! I get hit, and everyone blames him! When he was the one protecting me.” He started crying, wiping at his face. “Please… save him. I’m not strong enough.” 

“I don’t think that’s true,” he said. “You’re really brave for telling me all this. I’ll find him and make sure he’s alright.” 

Tubbo nodded. “Thank you. Thank--” 

“Wilbur,” a voice started, and a dim-eyed man was behind him. “I’ll take care of things here. Go find our boy.” 

Wilbur, nodded, running to hop in the car. “We’ll find him.” It was a promise. 

Tubbo grabbed onto the blonde. He smiled, crouching down. “You’re Tommy’s friend, aren’t you?” 

He nodded. “He’s my friend. He’d never hurt me.” 

“I know.” His voice was soothing. “I believe you. Let’s go talk to your mother and the--” 

“He didn’t kill her.” 

Phil went still. 

“He didn’t kill her, you know.” He was shaking all over. “She killed herself.” 

\--- 

He’d have to grab the things from his room eventually. His compass, his clothes. 

The jar. 

The swim trunks. 

The more he thinks about it, he knows he can’t go back. He can’t trust himself to. If he goes by, he might not be able to stop himself from staying. 

He’s been too greedy with his time. 

The rain was coming down harshly now, and Tommy sunk against the stone wall. 

\--

They never found Tommy. Phil took care of things at school - not that anyone believed him. Wilbur was a mess at home, and Techno wasn’t in much of a better state. 

“We need to keep looking,” Wilbur cried. “Who knows what’s happening to him?”

“We looked everywhere.” His monotone voice shook ever so slightly. “There’s no telling where he ended up.” 

Wilbur buried his face in his hands. “He must be so scared.” 

Techno grabbed his hands, squeezing them tightly. “He’s been through worse, and he’s a tough kid.” 

Wilbur sighed. “I want him to come home.” 

Phil’s heart sunk at seeing his oldest so distraught. He wanted Tommy to come home too. Techno rose, pushing up the chair. “Where are you going, Techno?” 

“Where do you think?” he spat. 

“It’s dark out,” Phil said. “Let me go talk to the police station.” 

Wilbur scoffed. “They won’t listen to you!” It’s true. Phil has a tendency to get worried when his kids are just slightly late. 

“I’m going to go look for him.” 

He was out the door. 

\--- 

When he truly thought about it, he was lucky. 

When he died, he had something to hold onto. Something to make his life worth living. 

It might’ve been shit. He might’ve been a bad kid. 

But it was okay. It was fine. 

Tommy didn’t deserve to be sad. He had no right. After all, the time he spent with them was borrowed time. They were too good for him. 

It was never meant to be. 

… 

He knew it was much more than he deserved, but he couldn’t help but  _ want.  _

“Tommy!” 

He lifted his head up. He shouldn’t call out. He needs to hide. 

It’s for their own good. 

“Tommy! Where are you?” 

Tommy stiffened, knocking against a box. He flinched at the noise and scrambled to hide. 

The footsteps were muffled under the rain. 

“Tommy?” His voice was softer now. “We’re really worried about you.” Tommy clasped his hands over his mouth. “We want you to come home. It’s okay.” Tommy shook his head. It took everything in his power to keep him from crying out. 

“No one’s mad.” Tommy bit on his hand. “It’s not fair for the kids to say things that aren’t true.” 

“It is true!” Tommy couldn’t help it. He stayed behind the box. “It’s all my fault! I killed her, and it was all my fault.” 

“It’s not,” Techno said, voice coming closer. “It’s not true, Tommy. She killed herself.” 

He didn’t want them to know. 

“It wasn’t your fault.” Techno’s voice was wavering now. “You’re just a kid.” 

“I don’t need the pity!” 

“It’s not,” Techno said, stepping closer. “I like you a lot, Tommy. I think the world hasn’t been kind to you, and you deserve a home.” 

He dug his fingers into his skin. 

“We want to give you one.” He was right there. He could feel it. “We want you to be in our family, Tommy.” 

He kicked off the ground, reaching out for Techno. He let out a loud wail, latching on to his jacket. “I don’t deserve it. I don’t--” 

“You do,” he said, sinking down to his knees to wrap him in a hug. “You deserve the world, Tommy.” 

He didn’t believe him. 

“Now let’s go home,” he said, leaning back to reveal his messy face. “There’s some people really worried about you.” 

Tommy cried the whole way, and once they were home, Wilbur and Phil wrapped him in their arms. 

“I know I’m being selfish,” he confessed. “But… until it’s time for me to leave… I want to stay.” 

Wilbur laughed. 

“Hey!” he sniffled again. “Fuck off, Wilbur! I’m opening my heart up to you here, and you fucking laugh!” He hit him lightly, and the devastation was clear on his face. 

“I’m sorry,” Wilbur apologized, chest shaking with each laugh. “It’s not funny. It’s really not.” He hugged him again. “It’s just silly that you think Phil’s not wrapped around your finger.” 

Tommy blinked, tears stopping. “What… do you mean?” 

“Well, I was gonna wait,” Phil said. “But if it’s alright with you… I was gonna take full custody of you. Permanently.” 

“You can’t take me back after that,” Tommy said quickly. “You’ll be properly stuck with me.” 

Phil laughed. “Yeah, that’s kind of the point.” 

“No,” he said, shaking his head. “You don’t want me, though. I’m bad! I hurt people, and--” 

“Why don’t you let us decide what we want?” Techno interrupted. “We want you here.” Tommy fumed. “I’ll say it as many times as I need to - until you believe us.” 

“What do you say?” 

… 

“Fine,” Tommy said. “If you have a death wish, it’s fine with me.” 

“I’m so happy to hear that.” 

It was terrifying, being so vulnerable, being accepted into a home. 

As they hugged him as he cried, he thought he could be brave. For them. For the memories he wants to make in this house. 

It would be a long time before he got better, but this was as good as a start as any. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank u guys so much! i think this is the fastest i've written 40 pages in my life lmaoooo
> 
> i am def not through w this series, but that's it for this work. i hope u guys enjoyed even tho it was super rushed (i might revise it later but im behind on college work so prob not))
> 
> if u liked, pls let me know!! comments and kudos r always appreciated!! ily all, and until next time!!

**Author's Note:**

> i wrote this at 2am after i got off work and i wanna keep writing i swear but the rest will have to come later bccccc work hahaaaa
> 
> if u enjoyed, pls let me know! y'alls support means the world! ((also no constructive critcism pls! be gentle w me ok ok i still new to this fandom and i wrote this very late ok))
> 
> ok bye i love yall se eyall soon ok


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